Hiei and the Horrors of High School
by The Unknown Thing
Summary: He was going to kill them in the most painful ways he could think of. They had the stupidest idea to put him in with a bunch of adolecent Humans and they were going to pay for it...but first he had Maths homework to do...then Chemistry.


Hiei and the Horrors of High School

**Hiei and the Horrors of High School.**

Thing: Meh, Madame Lazy here don't own any anime of manga rights. Big boo-hoo.

'Thoughts' and "Speech".

* * *

Chapter One: In which Domino High School is not mentioned.

Humans, Hiei decided, had to be the strangest of creatures in all of the three worlds.

They wasted their dwindling time sleeping away half the day away and when they actually were awake they spent half of _that_ time cooped up in buildings hunched over stupid books. Honestly, what were they thinking?

And now he was stuck going undercover as a human into one of those places known as _School_. _High_ School, to be exact. It was all because he had told Yusuke that that 'School' place was a waste of time.

While the Demon Lord had agreed with him, the Fox, overhearing them, had argued that school had its uses.

Of course at that time Kuwabara (who had found he could do well if he studied) had came in and it all went downhill from there as a three-way argument erupted between them.

He still wasn't sure how it had happened, or who had come up with the _ridiculous_ idea (but he would find out) but some how the idea that _He_, as in _Him_, Hiei went to this High School had popped up, been thought about and agreed upon in the space of thirty seconds.

Apparently the justification was for him to see for himself what school was like and then, afterwards, he was to report back on how it worked out. A _social _experiment they said.

He had asked: why him? To which they had answered that he was the only one in their group who didn't go to school thus his opinion would be neutral.

Obviously they were ignoring the utter contempt he held for all humanity.

He felt as though he had been duped somehow.

The only thing they needed was the go-ahead from Koenma. So off they went to Spirit world. As they explained their plan to Koenma, the Child-Prince's face remained curiously blank.

A tiny sliver of hope had appeared at that point. Maybe little Junior there was marveling at their stupidity?

Then of course that hope had been dashed upon the rocks when not only did Koenma readily agree with them (breaking into a wide grin as he did so); he even went so far as to bring up a list of schools he could attend. He even said he would handle everything from the money for school trips to the underwear that would match his uniform.

In fact, Koenma had found a School for him almost immediately, further heightening his suspicions that this was in someway planned.

His suspicions were confirmed the moment Botan walked into Koenma's office carrying his new uniform which, disturbingly enough, was his exact size.

Oftentimes he would look back and wonder why he hadn't ran away at that point. Then of course he would remember that he had, in fact, ran away, or tried to at least.

Note: Kurama has a surprisingly strong grip.

Had anyone else tried to grab him, they would have been maimed horribly beyond recognition. After a few agonizing minutes and one dressing room incident (that will never be mentioned again) he was in his new Uniform.

His Uniform turned out to be a blue Nehru jacket with matching trousers. Black sandals for indoor wear were also needed; otherwise he could wear whatever he wanted.

Kurama said it looked good on him. Botan said it was cute. Yusuke and Kuwabara were laughing their asses off saying that the look on his face was priceless. Hiei said he'd murder them in the most painful ways imaginable the next time they fell asleep.

There were quite a few ground rules that Koenma said he needed to obey.

Top of the list (aside from the obvious 'no killing humans') was:

Do not reveal the existence of Demons and Spirits-anything supernatural really-to humans.

After that there was: No skipping classes with out a very good reason (e.g: Massive invasion of the Earth by Demons, the Apocalypse is nigh…that sort of thing), no harming classmates unless it's in self-defense, no using the Jagan to cheat on tests (via mind reading), no mind reading (Period), he had to keep his Black Dragon on a 'tight leash' and he had to maintain an overall B- average for his classes or else Koenma would confiscate his sword.

It seemed that Koenma knew that in his spare time he liked to read Kurama's School books. So that's another thing about him that Koenma knew…creepy.

It also seemed that he was taking into account that he knew next to nothing about computers, which was a mandatory subject for this School, since he was throwing in a free laptop as part of the mission requirements.

Giving him a once over Koenma nodded his approval and started on the next thing that needed done.

* * *

"Botan, take Hiei into the Ningenkai and get him some human clothing and anything else that you think he might need or that catches his interest. I'm paying."

"Okie-dokie Koenma-sama! I'll get on it right away!"

Oh no. Shopping with an Onna? That would take all day as it was. But shopping with Botan? At least he'd written out a will.

"Alright, almost everything is ready. All that's left now is to send off the application with your new identity." Pleased with himself, Koenma began shuffling the papers on his desk, preparing to dive headfirst into his mountains worth of paperwork while he was still in the mood to do so.

His good mood wasn't even dampened when Ge-Ogre came tottering in, almost collapsing under the weight of even more paperwork, and asked where Hiei would be staying.

Blinking, he realized he hadn't even considered where the firecracker would go.

Well, he certainly wouldn't be able to live on his own: not only would it appear suspicious to others, Hiei would probably blow up all the household appliances or create some kind of apocalyptic disaster with nothing but Noodles and a microwave.

The only thing he was safe with was the freezer and that was only because it gave him 'sweet snow'.

No, he'd have to lodge with a student.

A student with lots of money, a large house and very good insurance: otherwise they'd have some problems.

Flicking through the files of the students he searched for a suitable candidate and found what he thought was the perfect match.

Oh-ho Mr. Kaiba was in for one helluva ride.

Now; to get him to consent to a transfer student living in his home for the duration of the school year and all would be well.

* * *

To be Continued...(Couldn't resist)

* * *

Unknown: In the Immortal words of Pink 'I'm Not Dead' (yet).

I have no excuses: I'm just a lazy pest who likes to read and write…I just like reading better.

My other fics are slow going at the moment: I have most of the chapters half-done I'm just trying to wrap them up without making a mess and leaving bits of sticky tape or scissors lying around to get stepped on later.

My main problem is I'm trying not to use the same idea in every fic, or at least the same ending. Maybe one day my genetic Illness, Lazyitus, will disappear on day…but that day is not today so bear with me please…or come after me with torches and pitchforks, whichever you prefer.

Ja ne!


End file.
